At the moment, this is where I am – I’ve been trying to find time to give you an update as to where I am in my thinking, and I hope now I have a few minutes to do so. Presently, I’m waiting for a plumber to come to start to pump out my crawl space, which flooded last night for a reason I do not yet understand. My neighbor called me around ten o’clock to inform me that their crawl space was flooding, and it appeared the water was coming in from mine. Since my water is now turned off, I’m pretty much in a holding pattern. It’s quite amazing how much household activity comes to a total halt when we haven’t water at our disposal!
So, let me share where I am concerning my/our blog and going forward. I investigated various types of blog formats, forums, and etc., and came to the conclusion that anything else likely will not make things better for us here and will simply make more work for me, and that is something I need to be careful about doing. I’m not going to post negative comments anymore unless they are expressed in a reasonable way. There are very good ways to disagree with statements people make, and I’m delighted to see that many of us are learning them. It’ may be tough for us to realize that these are skills many of our parents just couldn’t teach us, but because we’re putting aside our egos, we’re learning – and to me, that’s all that counts. I’m also seeing that people aren’t reading something and responding so much with the first thing that comes to their minds/guts. There are exceptions, of course, like when someone finds my blog, reads some of the info here and simply lashes out that we’re crazy and this info can’t be true, often with expletives. I’ve had to learn that while this may be unacceptable, it is also understandable. Most of this ‘stuff’ you never see.
For myself, I’ve just come through several weeks of deep emotional clearing as a result of finally getting off all meds, and what I learned is that all the ‘dark’ work I did, plus the negative aspects of my blog were a bit too much for me to handle. They altered my perspective, briefly, I hope, and for me – and for all of us right now – it is all about balance.
As I came back into balance and regained my perspective, however, I began to be able to ‘see’ even more very positive things about how far we’ve come.
Let me start off with a word about our discussions concerning President Obama – Do you remember all the discussion we had about him? Finally, I think most of us reached a conclusion that either way, he was playing an important role in revealing the false matrix. I believe many of us have been able to put our egos aside, and let that topic just sit on the shelf – until we finally know the ‘real’ truth of that situation. For myself, I don’t want anyone else telling me what to think on this, and since I can’t really ‘know’ the truth, I’m willing to wait until the truth comes out, as it must.
Channeling and the Progress of Our Own Self-Empowerment
We’re beginning to see the lack of value in channeling, and that what it often does is helps us to avoid empowering ourselves as sovereign beings. Remember, Drunvalo for one says we simply put an open phone line out to the Universe, and we don’t really have a clue about who is picking up that line. Others say the info often comes to us from the astral planes, which is where our wishful thinking resides – and that it is often our own ego speaking. Others say there are beings out there who will give us a lot of correct info, but then they will slip in a tiny bit of info that is incorrect that can mess things up in a serious way. The only time I’ve known Drunvalo to take public exception with a channel was for this reason. It was a channeling from Tyberon about the merkaba, and one small bit of info was incorrect. As I understood it, this small incorrect bit could be the cause of many people establishing a merkaba that wouldn’t do the job for them. (Because of what I believe is it’s importance to all of us, I am going to repost separately the complete article, which I first posted in March of 2011.)
To me, arriving at this place concerning channeling is a huge step forward for all of us: Most importantly, we are coming to depend on ourselves, not some other force which we deem to be superior to which we have given our power.
When I recently read Steve Beckow’s piece, The Pressures on Obama, and he addressed AAM as, “Lord”, I had a really bad feeling about his use of that word. In fact, when I read it, I inwardly shuddered. It feels to me like when we use that kind of address we are giving away our power – and to whom? do we really know? And aren’t these times all about recovering our power? Can you see how subtle the issue is? While I may not be correct in this, and I certainly have no desire to denigrate the work Steve is doing, it seems to me he is clearly on a different path than the one I have chosen to travel. (Remember, please, that all paths will lead us to the same place.) I, however, am all for our taking our power back from any and all – gurus, Archangels, people in our personal lives here 3-D who are into control issues, and so on.
- Concerning our empowerment as sovereign beings, I recall that I had family members living in the Southern United States, who insisted that their grandchildren call me “Miss Jean’, a typical address in that geographic area. It gave me, however, what I consider to be a totally false power and forced the children to see me as having a kind of control which I had no desire to have. When children are taught this sort of thing, it confuses them, because initially on some level, they generally ‘know’ who people are, and they will never respect anyone just because of a title by which they are forced to address them. If, however, this kind of false control goes on long enough, eventually it is likely they won’t remember the inner wisdom with which they entered this plane, and they won’t have any idea about who is real and who is not – and they may well find themselves at the mercy of people with titles, many of whom are not people they should respect. In the long run, should we also not consider everyone equal – just possibly a little farther or behind us on the same path? I would have much preferred it if they could have simply called me Jean.
- Is our role on this plane, doctor-lawyer-Indian Chief, really who we are, anyway? Instead, permit me to suggest that perhaps this is the role we choose to assume in this incarnation order to learn something, or to be of help to some particular group of people while we are here. Thank God, the nature of my blog pretty much precludes our meeting through our egos: the only thing we know about someone here is what they choose to share through their words. We don’t know what they look like, what sort of a home they live in, what sort of work they do, how much money they earn, what sort of a car they drive. Blessedly, we have the opportunity to connect genuinely to others from our hearts, and when we do this, all those ‘useless’ things that we have learned that cause us to judge others and so to often miss knowing a very special human being – fall by the way. I for one am so grateful to live and learn to communicate here from our hearts. For many of us, it is the one opportunity that we have to do so.
- I remember another very dear friend saying to me that she was never going to let a therapist play around in her brain! I thought long and hard about that one until I realized it wasn’t the therapist that was the problem. The problem was that she like so many of us had been disempowered in her childhood and had lost her connection to her self. She also had not been permitted to have boundaries and hadn’t a clue about keeping herself safe: if a therapist started monkeying with her, what was to stop her from simply saying, “What’s going on here? I don’t feel right about this!”, or why couldn’t she simply walk out?
I walked out on seven of them before I found one I thought could do the job for me. They were taking notes on books I was reading, on my experiences, while at the same time, they were telling me I had so much work to do that it would take the rest of my life. I told them repeatedly I was already old and didn’t have the rest of my life. I guess I pushed their comfort zone, and they didn’t like that too well either. What I’m saying is that a good therapist will not disempower you, and the one I finally worked with empowered me all the way. She empowered me to the point where when I got help elsewhere because I realized she was doing something wrong, she went and got trained in that skill.
If we are truly sovereign beings and we choose to live like sovereign beings, have we really any other choice but to learn to live by trusting our own sense of inner direction? Of course, we’ll make mistakes, but the clearer we get, the fewer mistakes we will make. Remember, though, there are no mistakes – only lessons!
I don’t think it’s about what others tell us, but what we decide for ourselves. While I’m curious about what is being said by any and all and I think it’s important that we gather information before we make decisions, I’m not really interested in having them tell me what is so. In the past, as I awakened, I decided to take the road which opened for me as directed by my own inner self. So far, while it has often been a very tough path, it has led me forward step-by-step into a far more positive personal world, a world that suits me – even though it may not suit others.
- In closing, I’m planning to continue my blog as it has been in the past, because as I’ve just related to you, I’m now able to see change and progress. I would like to focus more on the inward journey than I have, and I hope to do that next by drawing your attention to several comments and a couple posts of interest. Emotional clearing is to my mind where healing is at. It’s one thing to understand intellectually that you had an overbearing mother and an abusive father. It’s quite another to deal with the emotions that arise from having had to survive in such a life. When we do, however, we can change the forward path of our life to one of our choosing, which for me has become one of great inner peace.
- I don’t know how to avoid the pain and fear of looking at our past memories, created when we were often helpless or dependent children, except to say we must look at them, realizing we are not children any longer and we can have lots of other resources available to us that were not available as children. Our bodies do not forget these memories, and when triggered they will reproduce them until we consciously put them to rest by teaching our bodies a new energetic pattern. For instance, I recently had to experience the terrifying feeling of what was almost a lethal wound as I remembered that my mother had tried to abort me: our body remembers! When I could spend time with it and tell it I wasn’t going to allow it into my world anymore – and do the work to keep it out, it simply went away, slipping out of my energetic body’s memory bank. While these and similar experiences are often painful, just like surgery is, the results can be equally as positive as surgery: we can take our lives back! On a practical level, all the digestive problems that medication had covered up – irritable bowel syndrome, spastic colon, etc., are now gone. We need not live at the mercy of our memories – many of which are unconscious, but, of course, we always have a choice.
I realize I’ve rambled, but many of these points seem important to me to make. As always, I welcome your comments.
Love and hugs,