Operation Security Roof* – by Gilad Atzmon

Source: Veterans Today

Following the IDF difficulties in defeating Hamas’s ballistic warfare, the Israeli Government is now searching for contractors with some advanced experience in large scale reinforced concrete constructions.

The mission ahead is the building of a solid concrete roof over the entire Jewish State. PM Netanyahu is determined that the only way to defend Israel’s populated area is to cover the Jewish State with a thick layer of iron and cement.

The Israeli Government’s decision to build a concrete roof followed a considerable debate within the cabinet. Defence Minister Ehud Barak insisted that a massive extension of the current Security Wall would be enough to provide the goods. Barak maintained that a substantial increase of the wall to the height of 90,000 ft. would be more than sufficient to stop missiles from entering Israeli territory. He sensibly argued that Israeli youngsters would benefit from seeing the blue sky when they raise their eyes above. Prime Minister Netanyahu couldn’t agree less.

Being fully aware of the nature of ballistic warfare, the PM contended that the only way to provide the Jewish State with the ultimate security is to cover it from above with a reinforced concrete shield. Israeli President Shimon Peres, the legendary peace enthusiast, offered a compromise inspired by the idea of a trampoline. Peres suggested that a Security Wall’s 90,000 ft. extension made of an elastic net would do the job.

The elder statesman argued that an elastic net will guarantee that every Palestinian missile aimed at Israel would bounce back to the Arab territory once it hits the net. Netanyahu and Barak dismissed Peres’s suggestion. They argued that considering the excessive Israeli usage of artillery and missiles against the Gazans, the Jewish State would suffer far more from the erection of such a ‘bouncy net’. “Israel,” said Barak, “would never survive the extent of its own fierce artillery barrages bouncing back on itself.”

In a press conference following the heated cabinet debate, the Government spokesman Mr Zion Zioni stressed that “following the total success of the Security Wall in stopping Palestinian suicidal terror, ‘Security Roof’ is obviously the natural way to proceed.” Mr Zioni maintained as well that the new Israeli project will turn the Jewish State into a “sealed Jewish Bunker”. “In fact,” Zioni emphasised, “‘Operation Security Roof’ brings the Zionist adventure into its final destination.

We are now moving from the ‘Iron Wall’ phase into the ‘Concrete Roof’ future. With a reinforced concrete ceiling from above, a Security Wall in the East and the Mediterranean Sea in the West, the Jewish State will eventually become the safest haven for world Jewry. Herzl’s dream comes true. Long Live Israel!”

Yet, some technical difficulties lay ahead. Probably the most crucial problem has something to do with breathing. Like the rest of the humankind, most Israeli people consume oxygen and release carbon dioxide. Apparently, the Israeli cabinet Ministers were made aware of this very crucial fact by the Health Minister Dr. Herbal Krechtzen.

Netanyahu, being a man of action, responded immediately. Already in the cabinet meeting he authorised the Defence Ministry to explore different solutions to the acute biological problem.

YouTube – Veterans Today –

We already learned from the Defence Ministry spokesman Lt. Galileo Galilee that ‘Filter On The Roof’, the Israeli-American High Tech chemical giant (traded on Wall Street, operated from Gush Katif) has been contracted to deal with the problem. We have learned as well from Lt. Galilee that Filter On The Roof has already come up with more than a few solutions.

Although some of the solutions are rather radical, it is crucial to mention that they are all extremely innovative, as you would expect from an Israeli-American High Tech venture. Probably the most conventional and practical solution proposed by the chemical giant was to bore as many as 6 million ventilation holes in the roof. Peres, Netanyahu and Barak rejected the possibility without even thinking twice.

“Considering our traumatic collective memory of the holocaust,” so they said, “turning the Jewish State into a big room with holes in the ceiling is simply unacceptable.”

Probably the most radical suggestion made by the Israeli-American company was to train the Jewish population in Israel to breath like fish. By the time the Israeli people are well trained, all that is left to do is just to fill the Jewish bunker with seawater.

In other words, Filter on the Roof suggested to turn the Israeli State into a ‘giant Jewish tropical aquarium’. Though this option seems to be very radical and even inconceivable, most cabinet Ministers reacted enthusiastically. They all agreed that such a solution would fit nicely with the concept of modern Jewish life in general and Zionism in particular. Israelis love the sea. Israelis, unlike the Diaspora Jews are not afraid of water. Once the entire Israeli society is covered with water, no one would ever consider throwing them to the sea.

We will be following this developing story and keeping you informed.

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5 Responses to Operation Security Roof* – by Gilad Atzmon

  1. ohnwentsya says:

    Reblogged this on 2012 Spirit In Action and commented:
    The author of this is a former IDF soldier. After so many days of heart crushing feelings, it was nice to read an article that was made to inspire laughter instead;-) For some reason, NDN’s are the funniest people in the world. My grandparents used to say it is because if we couldn’t laugh we’d all go insane;-)

    I am guessing the use of this *living-in-hell-learned-skill* is quite in demand in both Palestine and Israel these days. My heart goes out to the regular people in both countries who, with compassion in their hearts for their counterparts on the “other side” are just trying to get thru each day, in spite of the insanity around them. As we all continue to pray fervently that the leaders come to some sensible and fair agreement to stop the bloodshed and bombing soon, I leave you this satirical piece to distract from the seriousness for a moment.

  2. Larry Cox says:

    A little early for April Fools…
    But we could use some humor around here.
    I bet some people will try to take this seriously!
    If a good belly laugh would dissolve all the hate and fear in this world, I’d say: Start laughing!

    • amosouldeer says:

      Come come, Larry, anything pertaining to Jewish State politics is “deadly” serious ! The real motive behind this roof idea is designed to protect themselves from the effects of (their) chemtrails, isn’t it ? 🙂

  3. Anon says:

    “The mission ahead is the building of a solid concrete roof over the entire Jewish State. PM Netanyahu is determined that the only way to defend Israel’s populated area is to cover the Jewish State with a thick layer of iron and cement.” – Fantastic idea! Keep building it down to the ground, seal all the edges, and let them stew! If there are any actual humans who wish to live in that hell-hole created by greed and bloodlust, they are welcome to it!

  4. This is the year of great changes facing HUMANITY as we know it , the old guard of nations full of hatred for other cultures is 2000 years old , and we all who have woken up in 2011 and 2012 must send to all of the middle east LOVE & LIGHT and every where there is darkness unfolding in people’s minds . WE will not stop sending LOVE & LIGHT till they how hate will see the light in all of Humanity ; NONE of this WAR and HATRED will enter the up coming 7 th Golden Age ….. So ramp up your inner LIGHT even stronger or as strong as you can HUMANLY can . The best is yet to come and LOVE & LIGHT will over come all this madness we are seeing in this time frame .

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