The charge? Polluting the entire Colorado River with ghastly and noxious chemicals which were in the process of wiping out all plant and animal life in Region 12.
June 5, 2081. Into Federal Court 546-A-12 strode Moses 4, an Artifact of Legal Consciousness and Instinct, representing the Monsanto-Dow-Dupont-Farben-GE Corporate Complex of North America, Region 12.
Moses 4 was made of a bright metal in the male human form, its glittering head carved from pure industrial diamond.
Moses: We admit nothing. We deny everything.
The Judge, a squashed small aluminum cretin, said, What is that supposed to mean?
Moses: The specific charges against us are absurd on the face of it. We can’t be held guilty. We decide guilt and innocence.
Judge: You decide…what?
Moses: We own you, Your Honor. Have you forgotten? You serve at our pleasure. It’s the system. If you found us guilty of anything, it would be as if we accused ourselves. And we’re not about to do that. You’re ret**ded in your understanding.
Judge: What did you say?
Moses: You’re ret**ded.
Judge: You can’t say that. The word is outlawed. You’ve just committed a felony.
Moses: There is no felony for us. We define felonies to exclude ourselves.
Judge: You’re wrong there. I must temporarily adjourn this trial and immediately go to an Article 465 Section X2 hearing on the use of forbidden language.
Judge: As a preliminary step, by law I must tweet an announcement of your language-crime and inform the world of your grave transgression against our less fortunate brothers and sisters. I fully expect a global Sharpton will be organized against your corporation in the next twelve minutes.
Moses: We malfunctioned. The word ret**arded. It escaped our internal censors.
Judge: Too late. Excuses do not suffice.
Moses: We’ll pay a fine on the charge of noxious pollution and the killing of innocents.
Judge: How much?
Moses: Fifteen billion units.
Judge: Not nearly enough.
Moses: Forty billion.
Judge: Six hundred billion, and you, Moses 4, will be smashed to pieces by The People in a public execution ceremony, to be held at the Marijuana Complex in Denver.
Moses: I’m not permitted to agree to destruction.
Judge: You would rather I tweet to the world that you just uttered the word “ret**ded”?
Judge: Good. You will submit to destruction. Your whole corporate complex will pay a fine of 600 billion units, and your CEO and COO will serve a sentence of 50 years in federal prison.
Moses: Fifty years?! That’s a life sentence!
Judge: Take it or leave it.
Moses: But The People don’t even care about the pollution and the death. They only care about the illegal use of language. Surveys have consistently shown they would rather die than use a word like…I can’t even refer to it.
Judge: That’s not my problem.
Moses: All right, Your Honor. You’ve got us over a barrel. I therefore apply to deploy my last option.
Judge: You mean…
Moses: Yes. A direct appeal to God.
The court room dimmed. There was a distant rumbling of thunder as the Ultimate Singularity Computer Complex on the Moon activated and instantaneously linked to the Judge’s brain, giving it access to Final Spiritual Insight and GodHimself.
The Judge closed his eyes and trembled. This was the greatest moment of his life.
Judge: I am receiving. This is the message from the Growing and Emerging Lord of All: “O my People. The use of the word ret**ded is a far greater crime than the poisoning and murder of life-forms along the Colorado River. For this crime of language desecration, the Corporation on trial will enroll all of its employees in the FEMA School of Reprogramming for a period of not less than ten years. During this time, brain circuitry replacement will be performed at the Emanuel Goldstein Medical Facility, and DNA Re-Stranding will be undertaken at the Pavlov Center for the Terminally Malformed. Moses 4 will also be enrolled for repair. This is my judgment.”
The Judge, recovering from his moment of ecstasy, nodded to himself. He felt the small powerful box under his podium. He’d used it to hack into the Moses 4 program and force it to utter the word ret**ded. It was the only way to secure punishment for the corporation and override its universal immunity.
It was the way of the world.
The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free emails at NoMoreFakeNews.com.